I want to build a home. I want to have a place to come back to and say to myself, "this is mine." I want to make curtains for the kitchen window and hang up my Egyptian papyrus paintings in the bedroom. I want to lay on the couch if I want. I want to wipe down the counter, and fold the linens and towels.
I don't want to be domestic, per se, I just want to be established. I want to be in a routine again. I want to have one place to call home- not three places.
I am so stressed out right now... the mortgage lender is breathing down our backs, "don't spend any money until you close... no money at all." I want to buy Jeremy's wedding band! I don't want to feel guilty about the swimsuit I bought tonight for the honeymoon. I don't want to be stingy when I go out on a Starbucks date... no more small teas, I want a medium mocha!
I want to unpack my boxes that are currently cluttering up my rented, little room. I want to put together the two bookshelves that I bought back in December for 60% off. I want to cook a meal in my kitchen that is stocked with my staples, instead of having one little cupboard packed to the brim with rice, popcorn, and coffee.
I want to be married now. I think I've waited long enough, thank you.
I feel trapped... I hope I don't explode.
Comments (1)