Happy Halloween, folks!  I must say Halloween is much more fun when you have little children to spend it with.  Due to the fact that Halloween was on a Saturday this year, I got to celebrate the day with my little students in group class.  We got dressed up, listened to creepy pieces like "Dance of the Goblins, and "Danse Macabre," and watched Fantasia (Night on Bald Mountain).

Here are my little ones- the Pre-Twinklers.  They were pretty freaked out by each other in costume.  Ha ha!
 

Here are my boyz- the early book 1s!  I think the fake muscles on these costumes are hilarious, and it sure did help their posture!!!


My mid-book-1ers.  Best costume of the day- Edward Scissorhands.  Try playing violin with 10 in. aluminum foil fingernails!


My early-book-2ers.  My butterfly twin was in this class, and little Vincent the storm trooper, covered from head to toe!


My late-book-2ers.  No, they are not rolling their eyes, they are watching their fingerings very, very closely...



After a very sucessful and FUN day of group classes, I headed home and got ready for Jeremy's and my Halloween party.

Our pumpkins- can you tell whose is whose?!  Ha ha.


 Jeremy, dressed up as a dragon tamer, helping me get ready for the party.


mulled cider- YUM!


The food is ready- we are ready to party!


And finally- the winner of our halloween contest- a little garden gnome with his mommy, the toadstool.

There are some issues that I just can't seem to get away from.  One is homosexuality, another is health care.  I remember Bill Clinton working (trying to work?) on health care back in c. 1993; these are some of my earliest memories of politics, and I am sure that health care has been an issue long before that.
Well now health care is the primary topic in Washington yet again, and it has been one of the primary topics in our church in recent weeks.  Our church decided yesterday to adopt the "Corinthian Plan," a plan that will decrease the health benefits for our pastors, yet allow other Mennonite pastors in the nation (who come from small congregations that can't provide benefits) to receive health care.  As we voted on this issue I had a slight hesitation- I wanted to protect our pastors and their families- I want them to receive the best care there is.  But isn't it worth the small sacrifice to ensure that other humans will also get necessary care?
I am reminded of this all too keenly in my own life.  I am one of the forgotten numbers in Washington.  I am a recent college graduate, I am working in a professional job, I am doing the work that I was trained to do, yet my employer does not provide health care by conveniently allowing us to work a maximum of 39 hours a week instead of the full-time 40.  So when I started my job I was left floundering, searching for an independent provider.  Thankfully I had not had any medical conditions in the past three years, or else I would have been denied.  I had been on a medication for one month, though, which I was no longer on, but it raised my premium by $20 a month.  Here I was, an early twenty-something, paying almost $150 a month for "health care" which came with a $3,000 deductable and didn't cover prescriptions or doctors visits... I take that back, they covered 55 cents of a $120 doctor visit.  This is a reality for a lot of people in this country.  And a lot of them are not as healthy as me.
Then I got married.  And all of a sudden I was joined to my husband's health care... 100% coverage of doctor's visits, substantial coverage of prescriptions, no monthly premium...  Am I thankful- you bet!!  But oh my goodness, the unfairness of it all.  What about those people out there who don't marry, or who don't marry someone who has a good plan, or any plan at all?  It frustrates me to no end that I am the same exact person I was 6 months ago- same job, same health issues... the only thing that has changed is my marital status, and that has made all the difference in my health care.

I was reminded of this most acutely a few weeks ago.  I was in rural NY with my husband and my parents, vacationing in my great-uncle's cottage on a lake in the woods.  A few days into the trip my arms started to ache, and then it traveled to my legs and my back and my neck... as soon as I got home I went to the doctor.  My symptoms were extreme- I couldn't hold anything, couldn't move my thumbs, couldn't turn the key in my car... So the doctor did blood work, and more blood work, and more blood work.  The results were "inconclusive," so she chalked it up to a virus I may have caught in the woods, like Lyme disease.  She didn't worry, and I didn't worry, because my symptoms gradually faded.  But that week I was terrified- my health, my career, and my normal life were in jeopardy.
Two weeks later I got the bill for the blood work: $1056.  The insurance covered  100%.  Six months ago I would have been in debt, paying for test results that gave me the satisfaction of one word: inconclusive.

Does this country need health care reform?  You bet.

Once I use to sing with joy and confidence:

For we are strangers no more, but members of one family;
strangers no more, but part of one humanity;
strangers no more, we're neighbors to each other now;
strangers no more, we're sisters and we're brothers now.

Now I sing with hesitant hope...

Well I am back to my xanga.  I seem to return every few months with the hope that someone out there cares to read, and with the longing that my old xanga community would come back, and share thoughts and reflections about what is going on in their lives.
There is a lot going on.  With everyone, I believe.
I think that when people reach their mid-20s, they embark on a particular kind of apathy.  Living is not exciting anymore.  The daunting task of a lifeswork looms ahead- even if it is in an enjoyable career.  Things are not new anymore, things become old hat.
In some situations, and at some times, this can be a good thing.  As someone who likes control, consistency, and tradition, an every-day- in-and-out life can be appealing.  But then there are dark moments when I'm afraid that I've lost the spark that keeps me going.  What is the point in continuing a career, and continuing a life, if I can't find something to be excited about?
For pretty much as long as I can remember, my faith in Christ has kept me going when the going got tough.  The funny thing is that now my life is pretty easy, pretty enjoyable... I am newly married to a wonderful man, I have an enjoyable job, and family and friends that love me...  And yet I can't find this satisfying because the piece of the puzzle that I so desperately need is missing.  I know that I have faith in the Lord, but without the Church, that faith is hard to nurture, and dare I say, hard to find in myself, underneath the mess of selfishness, frustration, exhaustion, anger, and apathy.
It began on Feb. 4, when I received a letter from my church saying that we were beginning a process of discernment regarding homosexual membership.  When I read it I had such a sinking feeling in my stomach.  I knew in my heart that from that point on, no matter the outcome, that things were going to be different.  My safe place of spiritual growth would forever be changed.  I was scared, and continued to be scared for several months, at the thought of change, at the thought of ending up on the minority side, at the thought of division within the church... so many fears.
Fear can destroy you.  Fear caused me to lose my sense of worship with the community I loved.  Fear caused me to distrust my pastor.  The Lord, and my loved ones, helped me through this time... though research and prayer, through a time away from church, and through conversations with my pastor.  In some cases I faced my fear, and allowed myself to wander to new points of perception and understanding about this issue, but my ultimate opinions remained unchanged.
Things errupted on May 31, Pentecost Sunday, which I believe by no means was a coincidence.  The results were brutal and heartwrenching for everyone involved.  I can say with certainty that the Holy Spirit was there in our church in a powerful way that day.  I can also say with certainty that for the fourth time in my life, I felt the spiritual oppression of an evil presence.  This is an indescribable feeling.
People at church have landed on both sides of the fence.  The immediacy of making a decision is no longer there, and in a way this is helpful... it will give our church time to process, pray, and seek out the truth... yet in the meantime I feel like my lifeline has been cut, like we are children lost in the desert... and oh, how I long for a drink of Living Water...